Sunday, June 6, 2010

Because I Can

Yesterday I was sitting in my room. The air was thick and the sky was grey and I knew with every part of my being that I needed to be swimming naked in a pond, breathing air filtered by trees, and spending time in a natural building. For two years I have wanted to see the cabin that Daniel built and after trying to make plans that would include visiting the cabin recently we realized that it just wasn't going to work. I tried to let go of the idea but realized that I just didn't want to. This could be the last opportunity for me to see the place and I didn't want to let go of that.

I was talking to Stef and said I wanted to go there and she asked..."whats stopping you." I gave answers like.... it is three hours away, it would use a lot of fuel, I don't feel that great, it doesn't make sense, what if I start feeling worse, etc. After I got of the phone it became completely clear to me that if not now then maybe never..... If I started to feel worse I could deal with that then....

So I called Daniel and told him I was coming and that he should get back to me quickly if that worked for him....

So I took off. We met in South Royalton which is a super cute Vermont town that had a square more similar to the Missouri style town squares than what I am familiar with in New England. From there we drove through breathtaking scenery to his place. There were hills and fields and trees and one place to which I found myself exclaiming out loud and feeling like a child that was like a tunnel through some dark overhanging trees.....

First stop.... the pond..... I needed to swim naked. I haven't done so since I left DR. It feels core to my being my health. The pond was cool and refreshing, the air was crisp and clean. The pleasant breeze kept the bugs away.

Next stop, a cool spring flowing at the bottom of his driveway. Yum.

Next stop the long awaited visit to the cabin. Even though he was all moved out and there is some challenging energy with the dynamics with the owner of the land it is on... the cabin still held a nurturing, healing, energy of a space that was built and cared for with keen attention to detail, heart, and soul. It was exactly what I needed. Almost felt like home (only the building was pretty much finished and had some details that really made it stand out.)

I never thought it would be nicer to be in a natural building that someone else built than one I built. It was so liberating though to be able to look around and only see the beauty. To not know where mistakes were made or stressful stories of building happened. To feel no responsibility for what might still need to happen. To simply be able to enjoy and enjoy and enjoy and take it all in.

Something that stood out to me a lot (afterall I am still or was still a natural builder and look closely at the details and try to understand what is going on) is that every detail I noticed I knew was thought out and deliberate and also made sense to me, from the layout and design, to the finish work, this building is full of details that can make life more pleasant. This space ushered me to practice chi gong upon waking.... it didnt feel like a chore at all... I just wanted to do it. I even wanted to meditate afterward.

So I stayed for less than 24 hours but felt pretty good the whole time. Nothing like nature and love to heal the body.


  1. Dear Tam, You are listening to your voice, and oh what a voice that is! Love, nature, beauty, details, naked swimming, yum spring, house of artistry . . . because you can! Doubting is being alive... allowing yourself to make choices, this way or that. I am so deeply glad you went "that" way and now have time to chomp on this gift ... Here's to you and the feast you created and enjoyed! I cannot help but believe this will help you continue to digest all the different types of food that are on your plate. All my love, Dana

  2. I'm so glad to hear that you did this. I hope you do more of it. Very good for Chi! Very good!