One of the big challenges right now is eating. It feels bad. My energy plummets, my mood plummets, and my abdomen gets so tight. I feel like I want to open my rib cage to make more room.
So quickly I can go from feeling feisty and up and full of fire to live to fear and surrender to my body seemingly getting worse and worse.
I really would like it if things would make a clear shift towards me feeling better more of the time than not.
When I am in this space I doubt I question I wonder..... should I do chemo..... I start to loose touch with reality.....with the reality I want for myself. I really want to live.... I got a taste of the amazing joy life could hold... of the magic.... of the ease...... I want, I want , I want......