Sunday, September 27, 2009

Baditude Adjustment

WOW. Holy shit. Woah!!!

Thank you to everyone who attended the healing sessions. Tonights was mens hands on and womens distance healing. I do not even think that I could begin to do it justice and also the details feel too sacred for words.

I wish that everybody could experience this sort of thing. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by so many people who I feel such a deep trust for that I feel totally comfortable laying my ailing body down in the middle of them and saying "do whatever feels right to you."

Prior to all of this starting. I felt so great about my community. I felt love and support, I knew my place, and I felt respected for things I wanted to be respected for. The one piece that I was unsure of was how to create healing in my community. How to manifest a sense of security within myself and others that if we were in need the community would come together to help. How to manifest healers and healing and ease of this exchange. I now know that all I needed to do was open my eyes and trust.

I went into this healing session tonight with a super baditude. I could barely drag myself to it. I was so busy feeling sorry for myself that I didn't even notice that most of the day the lingering pain in my left ribs had dissipated. I now feel renewed, rejuvenated, and ready to persevere on this journey. I also have a new plan and that is to take it slow like I said I wanted to. I am going to stop the supplements until I am in MA. For right now it is more important to me to feel as good as possible for my last days here and for my reuniting with my family later this week and the road trip to follow. My body has been through a lot this last week and is now integrating a major diet change. I think it deserves a break and I think that my overall feeling of well being will be more healing than the herbs for this week.


  1. Tam, so with you with everyone else ... and trusting that you will make the best decisions you can in every moment. Even now you are blossoming. I actually just looked up the word "blossom" to see which of the definitions I was feeling and there it was "to mature or develop in a healthy way." I am growing as you are growing through this journey and especially loving the flexibility of your heart, thinking and soul. AND, love that the black and white dress that you wore to the wedding way back when is one of the cherished items. Even at 17 you were doing your own thing with those red tights! I looked at all your photos on facebook and realized I had missed some really great ones. But, there was the dress as you ride the tractor, not to mention the orange funky scarf that was almost lost to bottom drawer oblivion and revived with your Tami spirit. Sending you focused and good energy from (as Sharon calls it) "my castle in the sky." I do hope these days before you leave RB are filled with the wonders that moving slowly allows. love, Dana

  2. I'm so encouraged to hear how successful your healing session was. I am learning a lot through your journey and maybe I will be a better nurse and nurse practitioner for it. I hope that you are feeling just as great or even better today as you get ready for your family arriving and your underwear-laden road trip. Selfishly I'm looking forward to having you closer to me!

  3. Tamar of the straw, herbs, mud, sand, heart and soul... poetry in motion. We barely know one another; and, yet, there is a feeling of knowing you and not being at all separate, even though I'm 2000 miles away. We met so many years ago, and I've always enjoyed your energy, your beauty, grace and the way you carry yourself with strength and power. I especially like that picture of you riding the tractor in that dress, so it's fun to hear a bit of the story behind it. For me, the pic is a great symbol of breaking down gender barriers. I love that in you.

    Thank you for sharing your journey so transparently. In reading your words, I find myself healing in ways that are a bit of a mystery around my beloved friend and love, Geoph's journey with pancreatic cancer. I appreciate your humor and your vulnerability, and feel you... co-energetics... love this, too.

    I will hold you in my prayers and meditations and send you healing, loving, compassionate vibrations. May you continue to find peace, happiness and the gifts that this process will bring to you. Hearing about the healing circle and love for you at DR in your trial makes me deeply miss living in community on the land, and my work is here now. Joy to your heart through the changes and pain, dear. With love and hugs, Lotus (formerly Debo of Sandhill)