Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Update number 1 (got too tired to finish)

Okay so I can imagine that people are pretty worried after my super short last blog post. That was all I had in me.

I went to the emergency room because my doctor wanted me to to get checked in fast so he could come help me. The constipation thing got to new levels and pretty much I just wanted to die. Nothing helped it and it was unbearable. I guess I bared it but only because there was not much other option. They were able to give me pain meds IV. Anyway three soapy enemas and one milk and molasses one later things felt somewhat better but not much. During this time I let the doctor do another CT scan because he agreed to no drink and no die.... seemed like it worked fine for them regardless. The good news is I felt a little better. The bad news is the the tumors have doubled in size and spread to abdominal lymph nodes and the lungs a little bit. One weird thing is that the chromagranin levels went from 500 something to 16. 16 is normal levels and chromagranin is a cancer marker....so what up. I wish I could have had enough faith to say I will just do more Tom Tam and Tong Ren and Tui Na. But I didn't. The doctor thinks that I will get relief from the chemo because if the tumors shrink I should be able to digest again and have less pain and that will I believe give me more will to live and continue on the Tong Ren path. When I feel so bad I have no will to live.

So I left the hospital after getting two fresh liters of IV fluids which proceeded to go right to my torso and legs. I am bigger than I ever have been and went from 127 pound to 144 overnight. Now thats some seriously interesting body change. It hurts. I wonder if I will get stretch marks from it. Oh well, maybe what I loose in hair I will gain in stretch marks. The hair hasn't started to fall out yet but before it does I am going to cut it. I guess this is my signal to cut my hair. I keep wondering for years now why I don't wake up wanting to cut my hair like is the usual pattern that gets me to cut my hair.


  1. Hi Tamar,

    I'm glad you wrote more. That was a very hard post to read last night. I'm glad things are a little better after the hospital trip.

    You can still heal on chemo--people have done it. As bad as it is for you it can kill the tumors and you can reverse the damage from the chemo with tong ren etc. I think you are right--without the pain from the tumors you'll have the strength to continue. That is very interesting about the chromagranin and cheers me up immensely, straw that it is. I think it's a sign that your alternative treatments are doing something.
    I am very very sad about your hair. I know, hair grows back. Tumors be gone, hair grow back! Thinking about you, Suzanne

  2. Tami, thanks for the smiles of yesterday.
    Mom and I went to a restaurant had a good meal and felt some
    relief after few days of watching you suffering.
    We thank Sharon for helping us to overcome the anxiety and the pain
    Yes we have a long way to go but we will take it one step at the time
    and every day is a new day.
    I am using this opportunity to thank all our friends that are supporting
    us through this journey.
    Love you all Dad (Amos)

  3. Sending love to you and your family from those of us you may or may not remember briefly meeting when you were in W. Mass visitng Sharon (with the little accent mark missing.)

  4. Yes, thinking of you and sending you love and songs everyday.