I am going fucking crazy. At night I am hooked up to a line that brings supplemental nutrition into my body through my chest. I am feeling so homesick. I want to be around for the beginning of the slower season at home. When people start to cozy up and the fires are warm.
The nutrition makes me feel better but better is not enough. I want to be all the way better. I am ready to be done with this craziness. I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. Screaming isn't enough, crying isn't accessible. Walks, a little bit of jogging, and i mean a little bit help for a short time.
I have to wake up to pee every two hours. Getting through the night is excruciating. This fucking sucks. This fucking sucks. This fucking sucks.