I have decided that my new goal is to get back to Dancing Rabbit as soon as I possibly can. I don't know all that is involved in that or what it means or how it fits into treatment but I am not doing well here. This life doesn't work for me and I am miserable.
I just had a nice weekend at my sisters house and that helped but it is clear to me that I need to be at DR. I need to.
I am back in Milford and I don't know what to do with myself. There is no wood to stack no people to socialize with nothing is inspiring me artistically no little projects no planning......ahhhhh.... I am going crazy. Its not true that there are no people, there is Suzanne and Rebecca in Boston and Lisa here and Melany in Western, MA but how do I access them and how do I make fun when I am so bummed out. I cant make the fun it has to be happening like at DR when things just happen. I want so much to be there. Maybe I can go for just 2 weeks right now.... but what about this low white blood cell count thing. Traveling is sure to get me sick.