Monday, December 14, 2009

How Can I Get Back To DR

I have decided that my new goal is to get back to Dancing Rabbit as soon as I possibly can. I don't know all that is involved in that or what it means or how it fits into treatment but I am not doing well here. This life doesn't work for me and I am miserable.

I just had a nice weekend at my sisters house and that helped but it is clear to me that I need to be at DR. I need to.

I am back in Milford and I don't know what to do with myself. There is no wood to stack no people to socialize with nothing is inspiring me artistically no little projects no planning......ahhhhh.... I am going crazy. Its not true that there are no people, there is Suzanne and Rebecca in Boston and Lisa here and Melany in Western, MA but how do I access them and how do I make fun when I am so bummed out. I cant make the fun it has to be happening like at DR when things just happen. I want so much to be there. Maybe I can go for just 2 weeks right now.... but what about this low white blood cell count thing. Traveling is sure to get me sick.


  1. Oh Tamar I miss you!
    And I must say I like your goal.
    What a tough spot, trying to balance the healing of your body with the needs of your spirit. And you knowing as much as anyone how deeply the two are intertwined.
    I'm sending you all the love I've got,

  2. Hey Tamar,

    We would surely welcome you at home! (Though it is promising to be an extra chilly winter... but your little house gets warm just fine...) Many Rabbits express missing you a lot and wishing we could be doing more. If you do decide to make the trek back, I'm sure you'll have a good team to help support that.

    Much love, sister! Ma'ikwe

  3. Hi Tamar,

    I'd love to talk about how we can get together. I wish I had a car, it would be so much easier. I do understand why you would want to be back at DR and it makes sense to me--it would be a lot easier to get your social/fun needs met there when you need them and when you have the energy, without so much effort. Could you still get tong ren at DR? Can sessions be done by phone? Have you tried any other healers--I know there are others who do phone sessions. I think that you would feel so good on the way home to DR that your blood cell count might benefit....follow what you know inside, not what the doctors tell you. If you need to be there, you need to be there.

    Love, Suzanne

  4. Dear Daughter
    I understand your feeling and I speak for
    Myself. Milford is not a very inspiring place
    It is a small Massachusetts town with very
    little to do for young people.
    If I am not mistaken most of your friends
    Left the town and the few that are left are
    Busy working and socializing so there is little
    time left for you. This is understandable and
    such is life.
    During our dinner we talked about your return
    To DR. My greatest desire is to see you going back
    Healthy and able to continue your life that was
    Interrupted unexpectedly. We talked about possible
    scenarios and establishing goals so your desires can
    materialize. The next several weeks will tell us more
    about your health and based on the information we
    should plan the next steps.
    You will have our support in achieving your goals

    Love and more love


  5. Hey Tamar,

    "Come back to Rutledge, its not the same since you went away..."

    We'll give you all the fun and wood stacking you want out here!

    We can also have a serious talk with the microbial people and make a deal where they leave you alone. And maybe we'll set decontamination stations outside your house :-)

    We'd love to have you back.


  6. Tamar, going back to Rutledge sounds like a good idea! After all, your psycho-emotional-energetic well-being has a lot to do with healing, too; and the quality of our day-to-day lives and our moments are so important to fulfillment. I imagine you WILL find the healers and support you need, although it may mean travel to Columbia regularly. Your Dad sounds like such a gem... you are so rich in your heart connections. Sending healing vibrations and good cheer! Lotus

  7. Tamar -
    I understand your Milford malaise. If you need anything at all, give me a shout, I am really right down the road.