Today I could celebrate. Celebrate today. Now. Life of today.
I woke up today and checked in with my liver. I generally do each morning. A morning palpate. Have your found your strength liver? Whats doing?
Today she had some big news. Her tumors were a bit smaller. The edges were more clear. One that hadn't had much change had some change. Best yet, I couldn't feel her from inside. Such a treat when she can just go about her business and not remind me every moment that she is there and having trouble.
Today was the farmers market. I like it there because there is live music, locally grown beautiful vegetables, people who I enjoy being around, chatting with, etc. I love that it is in biking or walking distance. I love that it is small but vibrant. I want some red meat. Last night, no way to know if I would be up for it. This morning..... I am going to try to bike to it.
Nathan had a Tamar day off but my fire was stoked. I was going to bike even if I had to crawl back home. I am pretty sure that since we biked there together if I couldn't make it back Nathan would not have said "well Tamar, it is my day off and you got yourself into this mess, you need to get yourself home." It wasn't an issue anyway, we biked to the farmers market as friends. Like friends who can just hang out and do something fun together (albeit we biked very very slowly, hello non-existent muscles). Nathan seemed very content because he was promoting the greenfield dollars to the sellers at the market and getting some converts to accept it. We were both very content at the amazing price and availability of organic 100% grass fed local ground beef. Hey there blood, don't worry there is some iron coming your way soon. We shared one of our first local apples of the season, Paula Red had great texture, juiciness, sweet, with a tart overtone. She was small and shiny and beautiful.
Oh yeah and how can I forget. Tereza was with us too. She joined me last night when I opened my mail and from Tereza I got Tereza. Tereza is a pretty kick ass lady and she now resides on my liver helping it to keep going in the direction that it went overnight. (I am not on drugs.... in case this is too cryptic, Tereza is a temporary tattoo send to me by Tereza, who is not a temporary tattoo, she is more a permanent tattoo in my life and I love her. Now, Tereza, the temporary tattoo lives on my liver. The permanent tattoo Tereza lives in Missouri and in my mind and heart and imagination). Hopefully I will get my act together and take a photo of Tereza to post.
Then I went to acupuncture. I have been going to Greenfield Community acupuncture. The scene is really healing. In fact I am not sure the needles are necessary. So far it has been only women, by chance. I feel a nice connection with the acupuncturist. She could easily be someone in Sharon's drumming group, which is to say, interesting, funky, caring, sincere etc. I showed her Tereza. She thought she was great.
On my ride home, I weaved through non-main roads to avoid the traffic. I ended up right at the place to get 5 gallon buckets. I just told Sharon that I wouldn't know where it was. So of course I had to stop. I really wanted to see if they had 2 gallon buckets for making pickles and Kraut. They didn't but they were lush with 5 gallon buckets. I limited myself to 2..... the addiction is still alive. They ousted the bag I use from use from the crate on the back of my bike. The bag then uncomfortably hanging from my shoulder knocked against my knees. I liked it though because then I could feed my bucket addiction and be reminded of Sue at the same time.
Hello again muscles. Thank you for still being able to function. I will go easy on you.
Back at home I walked in to the kitchen where my sister was cooking and waiting for me so we could spend some time together. Nice scene, sister in a chipper mood and available, comfortable home, Nathan around somewhere. Pretty quickly we went to the couch so I could run Sharon's hands over my liver. So she could feel the changes of the night, so we could revel in feeling good, in riding my bike, in hope. We also ended up playing banjo and fiddle. It was super fun and I was still energetic.
This evening my mom joined us for dinner. I felt a bit sad because it was hard for my father that I set a boundary that I needed to set which was that I was not available to see both him and my mom at the same time and that mom was going away on Tuesday so I was only available for seeing her tonight. I feel very proud of myself though for setting a boundary which felt necessary for my wellbeing even though it would be hard for my father.
Sharon and mom and I went to a casual thai restaurant. I had gotten a menu earlier in the day so I would be ready to concoct a dish that would work for me. I worried that all the changes I wanted would end up in disaster. I wanted the coconut lemongrass soup to be without any sweetener and to have more vegetables. The cook and co owner made it absolutely perfectly. I felt so so happy with my food. It went down really easily and felt good for my body and so far so good on how I feel afterwards. I couldn't stop telling the not-really waiter but person who brings food, takes the orders that we wrote down, etc... to thank the chef...than as we were leaving I had to go thank her myself. Yum.... maybe I can go again next week. Or tomorrow. Or right now.
Today I rode my bike.