Monday, August 2, 2010


Getting through the day but I don't feel hopeful about what the doctor will offer. My blood seems to prove what I suspected which is that the chemo stopped working 4-5 days ago. Not sure how this works.... if I take more does it work again? Or is this the sign that it is not working and wont work anymore. He said he has some ideas from the Dr. in Iowa who sends people (but not me because I do not have the right cancer) to Switzerland for some kind of nuclear treatment.

I ate too much today... really anything is too much... it makes me hurt.... but I was hungry.... and emotional.... and maybe its time to just eat whatever I want.....

trying to stay calm..... what will tomorrow bring.... ahhhhhhhh.....


  1. tamar, a close friend of mine used anti-anxiety medication while dealing with similar challenges. she was concerned initially about adding anything else to her body that could potentially create more challenges for it, but the calm that she experienced ended up being worth it to her. i just thought i'd mention it, as there is so much anxiety and upset that you experience.

  2. yes, eat whatever you want. whatever joy you can find wherever you find it.