Monday, January 25, 2010


Ali and Thomas came to visit. It was a lot of fun. We spent the time at Sharons place. We found ourselves one night at a small concert of a band playing swingish type music complete with accordion and trombone and an older man who was teaching us how to swing. Also found ourselves at a qi gong workshop. Went for a hike, played clean canteen hockey on a frozen pond....its a great way to shine up your clean canteen, did some hands on healing stuff using a soy sauce dish from a sushi set, and hung out with Sharons friends Gabe and Al (Al who was in Bears visitor group and spent much of his visit making a compost pile). Since childhood I have wanted my sister and I to be able to hang out with the same people and enjoy it. Mostly I was too young and annoying and Sharon wanted nothing to do with my friends who she says she was scared of. I really enjoyed mixing friends. I felt super homesick when Ali and Thomas left.

Now Nathan is here. It has been wonderful to have him here. At first my parents felt a lot of trepidation at the idea of having a guest in the house for a long time (Nathan offered to come live with me for a while) and held to only being okay with him being here for two weeks at the maximum. Pretty quickly they had a change of heart and now he is going to be spending the whole month with me. For most of the weekends which are now starting on Thursday afternoon and going until Monday afternoon, we are going to the Lee house. It has been super nice to get away from Milford and be a bit closer to nature. We have been skiing both on the lake and on groomed trails with my Uncle John who came brought us out for an afternoon of skiing. This weekend Sharon came and we had the most spectacular skiing conditions on the lake...warm enough that Nathan was down to a t-shirt, sunny with super blue sky, and snowcover just thick enough to make skiing feel effortless.
Nathan has been an incredible emotional and physical support for me. He came to Monicas with me and learned some tuina tips and has been working on me. We got to sit in her sauna after the tuina session which was really refreshing.... it gets up to 165 degrees which I thought was crazy and that I would never last for a minute in there but it is some special kind of infrared thing and feels super nice.
Nathan and I played in the snow yesterday and succeeded in doing something I never thought we could share (because I am too particular). We made a snow sculpture together. We made art together.....crazy. I was hoping that the sculpture would be there to greet my dad when he arrived at the house (we have been switching off time at the house which is what makes it so my parents are okay with a house guest) but the rain ovenight reminded me of impermanence....sadly I didn't even have my camera to take a picture. The great thing is that I actually want to take pictures now. For most of the last 5 months I have not felt inspired to take photos of anything so I am super excited that I have the desire again. It was really scary when I felt my creativity was gone.
Another big change is that I have found meditation again. Yippee. Nathan and I have been doing it twice a day. It is so helpful to have Nathan here to encourage and join me in such things.
With Sharons steady influence I continue to dabble in Qi Gong too. Yoga however seems to have gone out the window.... I think I am ready to reincorporate it.

And there are still lots and lots of times when I feel in despair about my life or how to maneuver through the next months..... and the scan, oh the scan..... what to do?

1 comment:

  1. Hey Tamar,

    I'm so glad to hear Nathan is there for a month and you are having a good time and feeling the full range of emotions again. Kudos to Nathan for learning Tui Na techniques--that is so awesome. All month every time I wonder if I should send you energy I've had the feeling that you are just fine, no energy needed at present. I hope I am right about that, it sounds like I am. So, let me just remind you that healing IS your job right now, as you asked me to remind you. And wow, you've really been busy! Love, Suzanne