Are we in the post-feminist era yet?
For the last few years I have been contemplating what being a man means to my friends who are men. What masculinity means. Especially in relation to post feminism, if we are in fact there. I find this subject fascinating. There is a class at the Rowe conference center that is on this very topic and I think it is only for men and I think I am not healthy enough to prioritize such a thing anyway but so interesting to me....
One of the things that friends have been reflecting to me in relation to how I have changed since this journey began is that I seem softer, smaller, more feminine. Recently this got me thinking... I have been looking to learn more about men and masculinity but when I turn the question towards myself in relation to woman and femininity I really don't have an answer. I feel what my friends are talking about. I feel my desire to embrace the softer side of me, the feminine. At the same time I have little idea what that means.....
Friends.... what does it mean to you to be a woman... to be feminine?
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Why is feminine considered softer and smaller? I don't understand that. To me, the term feminine has always bothered me. If you you a big butch woman who looks like a man you are still "feminine" by the scientific fact that you have a woman's body and were born a woman. I once met a stone butch woman who took up a lot of space both energetically and physically and was all black leather and swagger. She sewed lacey curtains for her kitchen and had the sweetest smile, she ate her spaghetti with her fingers and laughed loudly and I thought to myself that she was perhaps the most feminine woman I had ever met. And no, I did not have a crush on her! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI am Lindsey ex-Sandhill even if this posts as anonymous. If so it's only cause I can't figure out how to select the right profile to please the computer!
What does it mean to me to be a woman? to be feminine. Coming from a woman who when I was younger wanted to be a boy and for my whole life has been mistaken for a guy, I over the last 15 years have really embraced being a woman. So, it is to me "that mother earth sort of strengh, softness, raging, calm, nurturing, healing, weak at times, tolerant to a certain extent and all in divine order" sort of existance. Having the ability to birth life yet not without the help of a man. I love being a woman, I now embrace my feminine as well as my masculine. I like that sometimes people can't tell which I am. I feel pretty balanced that way even though I am a woman by design.
ReplyDeleteSue
good questions! in my opinion, we're no where near the post-feminist era. a post feminist reality would mean equality and safety for women, and we've got so far to go.
ReplyDeleteto me, being a woman means noticing and trying to turn around the areas where we're not equal(the often noted pay inequality, political leadership, etc),or especially where being a woman means we're vulnerable to male violence, such as fear that keeps us from walking down the city streets at night or going into bars alone, for example.
to me, being a woman also does not necessarily mean being feminine. i have so-called masculine qualities (keeping feelings under wraps, except anger), and so-called feminine qualities both(i wave my hands, and shake my shoulders when i dance.)
Judith Sara (aka aunt judith's pet sitting)