This entry is overdue but seems necessary to write in the order of things. I am feeling really good about my healing team. One of them is Tom Tam. I do not feel very connected to him, I think because he is soooooo busy and I don't feel especially special. I am sure he wants me to live however. He makes that abundantly clear in his bold statements about how pancreatic cancer is easy to treat and I shouldn't worry and look how much better I feel. Monica is another team member. She has the ability to range from being very sensitive to tough love and she has used the whole range with me. Monica will not let me die and she will not let me think I am going to die and she will not let me feel sorry for myself for very long. Her hands are amazing and she knows just where to touch. It doesn't always feel good, sometimes I am screaming in pain but I am never in pain afterwards. Magical hands Monica. The third team member is Eleanor. I feel like the universe was conspiring to make us meet. Eleanor is also certain that I am going to live. Every time we talk we realize how much we have in common. It feels almost eerie. Sometimes she says things that there is no way she could know about me but she does. I am so excited to someday get to spend more time with her in a more social way. I have a lot to learn from this mystical woman.
My mom found a therapist who seems like she will join the team. My mom searched for therapists outside of ones that are covered by Mass Health even though I told her she was wasting her time because if I was going to pay a lot of money I already had Marie Patrice. Anyway, I tried her out and think that I can work with her. I couldn't believe it when she said that she was willing to charge me what I felt like I could pay which was $35. She apparently felt drawn to my energy and wants to work with me. Again, I am flabbergasted and floored at what the universe (and in this case my mom) is sending my way.
This is not to say that my healing people are limited to these four... I have some seriously wonderful friends. I cant believe that I am still getting so much support from so many people. It is really really humbling Wow, I am still shocked by it.
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